when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
