I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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