thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
