I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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