You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
