When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
