i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
