My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
