Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
