that's an acceptable place to lick
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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