The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
