you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
