She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
