the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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