Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
