we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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