dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Boobs speak an international language.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
