Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
