I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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