My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
