Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had sex on a roof
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
