are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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