it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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