i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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