Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
