Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
