At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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