We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
