I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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