You're completely useless in the revolution.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
