It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
