We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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