My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
