just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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