Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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