Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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