didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
