after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
