No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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