we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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