I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
