Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
