plz talk dirty to me
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
