let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
