is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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