I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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