He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
