My first STD was from a foam party
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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