That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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