if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
vagina is talking i cant
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
